What I am about to share is not my idea; it came from my old accountant who died way too young, at 60. He used to give his clients a document he called The Family Love Letter. I will be honest, at first I thought it sounded a little corny. But he was right: it is gold.

As we get older, life gets complicated. More paperwork, more accounts, more “stuff” hanging over our heads. And when something happens (and it will), you do not want your family scrambling like chickens with their heads cut off, digging through filing cabinets or trying to remember who your life insurance is with. That is chaos. 

I have seen it too many times in my business: Families tearing each other apart, siblings fighting, all because nobody knew what their parents wanted. That’s avoidable grief and an avoidable mess.

That is why this document matters. It is nine pages long. You can fill it out in 10 minutes if you do not overthink it. And once you do, you give a copy to your spouse, your kids, or whoever you trust most. Simple.

Here’s the link to download it: Family Love Letter. 

How The Family Love Letter Works

The Family Love Letter is basically a roadmap of your life. First page: advisors and accounts. Who is your financial planner? Stockbroker? Insurance advisor? Where is your pension? What about your mortgage? 

Next: assets and liabilities. What do you own, what do you owe, are you on the hook for anyone else’s loan? 

Then you list insurance: life, auto, home, etc. Safe deposit boxes. Even passwords if you are comfortable writing those down.

Now, the one thing it does not cover well is medical info. In an emergency, of course, that is critical. Next month, I will share a companion document that lists all that information.

The key is to take 10 minutes — once a year — to update the Letter. That is it. Put it on your calendar. Because life changes: beneficiaries shift, accounts close, new ones open. Do not leave stale info lying around.

Basic Estate Planning

Now, do not get me wrong. The Letter is not a substitute for true estate planning. 

For that, you still need to take care of the basics, and I suggest doing this with the guidance of an attorney:

1. Check and update your beneficiaries on bank accounts, CDs, annuities, life insurance.
2. Prepare a will or a trust. I do not care if you think you are “not rich enough.” Without one, your family will be stuck in court, paying lawyers to figure it out.
3. Consider lifetime gifts. Sometimes giving away property or cash while you are alive is the smartest move.

This does not have to cost you an arm and a leg. If you have a simple estate, it is not complicated. If you have a messy pile of papers, yes, it will cost more, but that is just reality. Spend a little now to prepare, save your family a fortune later.

Here is the bottom line: write The Family Love Letter. Give it to the people who matter. Update it once a year. It will cost you nothing but a few minutes of your time, and it will save your family heartache, money, and wasted time fighting over your affairs.

Call it tough love if you want. I call it caring about your family enough to not leave them in the dark.

Family Love Letter